


Requiem for Methuselah:  The Violation of Love

by Cheree_Cargill



Series: Glimpses of a Life [77]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Brotherly Love, Comfort, Episode: s03e21 Requiem For Methuselah, F/M, Friendship/Love, Types of love, Unrequited Love, Violation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 05:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16989123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheree_Cargill/pseuds/Cheree_Cargill
Summary: Spock is trying to come to terms with why he took away Kirk's memories of Rayna without permission.  Christine helps him understand why he did it.





	Requiem for Methuselah:  The Violation of Love

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc. The story contents are the creation and property of Cheree Cargill and is copyright (c) 2018 by Cheree Cargill. This story is Rated PG.

_Stardate:_ _5846._ _3\. Personal Log. First Officer Spock recording._

Uncharacteristically, I had taken my worry to the observation deck. It was the middle of third watch, 0300, and I discerned that I could be alone with myself and meditate on a solution or settling of what I had done. Except for the background noise of the ship's engines, all was quiet and dark and I sat watching the stars streak past. I had been here for some time.

"The things that love will drive a man to," Dr. McCoy had said to me. He does not think me capable of such actions. Indeed, he does not think me capable of love. He forgets that my Human half is fully adept at such an emotion, although my Vulcan half denies it. Was it love that made me do what I did? I must work this out before I can face him again. Not Leonard. The Captain…

I heard the door slip open and close, turning my head slightly to try to discern who had entered. The light did not come on as soft footsteps trod toward the external viewing port. Whomever it was did not wish to disturb the darkness and obviously did not know that someone else occupied this space. And then a tall feminine figure walked past me and stood looking out at the stars, clutching a cup in her hands. She peered out and heaved a tired sigh.

I could not allow her to think she was alone. "Miss Chapel," I said in a quiet voice, which caused her to gasp and spin around, almost spilling her drink.

"Mr. Spock!" she said in startlement. "I'm sorry, sir! I didn't know you were here! I'll go‑‑"

"No, please, sit," I invited. "There is no need for you to leave."

"Are you sure?"

"I would not have said it if I were not," I answered and moved over a bit to make room for her on the padded bench.

She settled next to me. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd have a cup of herbal tea and look at the stars for a while. Would you like some?"

"I do not wish to take your drink," I answered but I could tell that the formality between us was fast slipping away. We had grown close in the past months, especially since Platonius, when we had spent a night cuddled together in her bed, comforting one another following the traumatic events of that time. We had not made love but only because we were both still trying to come to terms with what we had been forced to do there.

For now, however, we were friends sharing a troubled and sleepless night. Christine smiled and offered me her cup. "If you're not afraid of catching anything…"

I gave a small nod of assent and took the mug from her, bringing it up to my lips to draw in a sip of the fragrant hot liquid then handed it back to her. "Thank you. It is very good."

"It helps me relax and sleep," she replied, cradling the cup between both palms. "Tonight I'm exhausted, but I can't settle down. I thought this might help."

"Exhausted by the Rigellian fever plague?"

"Yes. I've been working double shifts. I ache all over, I'm so tired." She sighed and drank from her cup. "Thank God you found a good rytalin outcrop on that planet. Dr. McCoy and the lab got the antidote processed in time before we lost any more people. Were you able to determine how we were exposed?"

"Yes," I answered. "That merchant we met at Starbase 14 where we took on supplies. We did not anticipate that he was a carrier of the fever."

She shook her head and let out a deep breath once more. For a while we simply sat side by side and watched the stars. Finally I ventured a query. "Christine, would you mind if I asked you a question? One of a rather personal nature?"

"No, of course not, Spock," she responded. "If it's too personal, I won't answer. Okay?"

I nodded, not looking at her as I formed the inquiry. "Is it too much to assume that you were in love with Dr. Korby?"

For a second, she appeared a bit startled then answered, "I loved him deeply, Spock. It's what brought me out here searching for him. You know that."

"Yes… When you lost him … when you realized that he was dead … you grieved for him?"

She didn't reply for a moment then nodded. "Yes, I grieved deeply for him. I still do, although time has softened the grief and allowed me to love again. Why?"

I swallowed and my voice became softer and rougher. "If someone … a Vulcan perhaps … took that grief away from you without your permission … would you be angry?"

Christine stared at me for a long time and I could see the shifting emotions across her face and in her eyes. "Yes, Spock. I think I would be very angry. No matter how much pain it might save me, it would be _my_ pain and not yours to take." She set her cup down on the low table in front of us and leaned closer to me, bringing her hand up to my face and turning me to look at her. "Did you do that, Spock? To whom?"

I lowered my gaze, ashamed. "To the Captain. Both he and Dr. McCoy expressed the wish that he could forget the young woman we met down on the planet and I melded with him without his permission. I took the memory of her away. I don't know why I did it. Such a thing is inexcusable and a violation of all I believe. Had I done it on Vulcan, I would be subject to severe repercussions. I would be punished."

Christine was silent for a moment and brought her other hand up to hold my face close to hers. "Yes, you would," she agreed. "And you will be punished here, too. Because the only thing to do is confess to Captain Kirk. Tell him what you did and beg his forgiveness. You will never have any peace until you do that and make a vow to yourself that you will never forcefully mind meld with anyone again."

I drew a deep breath and nodded. "It was with the best of intensions. I cannot tell what made me do it."

"I can tell you," she replied and moved her fingers to stroke my cheek. "You did it out of love for him, Spock, because you couldn't bear that he would be suffering. Sometimes all of us want to save a loved one from grief and we act out of that impulse without stopping to think how it will affect the one we love."

"I do not believe that I love the Captain," I protested.

"Don't you?" Her large blue eyes peered deeply into mine. "I don't mean sexually, although that may be there as well, even if you haven't acted on it. There are many types of love, Spock. Brotherly love, romantic love, family love, loyalty, honor, comradeship. I've seen the way the two of you look at one another and the way he depends on you. I love all of you, too, and try to show it in the practice of nursing. It doesn't mean I want most of you as a life partner…" Her eyes flickered back and forth with mine, trying to assess my reaction to her unsaid meaning. "But I feel a friendship and love for you as my crewmates. Some more than others…"

I gulped and drew her hands from my face but still held both in my own. "Dr. McCoy spoke to me of what love would cause a person to do. He implied that, because I am Vulcan, I cannot feel such an emotion."

"He was wrong," Christine said softly. "I know you too well, Spock. You may deny it, but deep down there is love in you. What you did is wrong, but you did it out of love. Go to Jim and tell him. He'll be very, very angry with you … but he will understand. I know he will." She sighed and said, "Now, let's go to bed. We're both tired and I'm on duty in a few hours."

I flicked an eyebrow at her. "Go to bed?" I repeated. "I assume you do not mean that as it sounds."

She laughed. "See? I'm so tired I'm punchy! No, Mr. Spock, I'm not even going to try to clarify that statement. You know what I mean."

"Indeed." I rose and offered her my hand in standing. She took it then bent to retrieve her tea cup. "May I escort you back to your cabin? I promise that I shall act as a gentleman."

"You are always a gentleman," she smiled up at me.

We started for the door and, before going out into the corridor, I clung to our privacy and companionship for one more moment. "Thank you, Christine. You have helped me resolve my conflict. I shall do as you advise."

"And thank you, Spock, for confiding in me," she answered. "Any time you need me, for anything, I would … love … to help you."

We stood exchanging a long intimate gaze then I led her out into the corridor and back to her quarters.

THE END

 


End file.
